Just Another Flight
Just another day routine. You park the car
in the short-term lot, collect your briefcase, and rummage through your
documents to ensure you’re not forgetting the essentials. Lock the car, find
the check in gate underneath the blasé signs indicating something like “safest
travel in the skies” “highest chance to make it!” or even “your adventures
begin here.” Don’t check a bag, that only leads to more complications later if…
The ticket counter is equipped with all
you’re going to need. Tags, maps, orange plastic whistles, . For a company that
is combined with the entertainment industry, you expect a little bit of a
higher standard, but you’ll take anything that would “help you” in a situation
like that one. Yea yea, you sign the waiver. You understand the danger of
taking the flight. Behind you edges nervously a younger pre-maturely balding
man. Must be in his 20’s. Shame. Must be a first time flyer. He hugs some
belated family member there with trepidation, and your mind (briefly) flicks to
the first time you flew.
How many years has it been since then? Do
you remember the first one? The plane was booked, college students heading on a
trip to the Bahamas, or was it Europe? It doesn’t matter now, all you remember
is her. The assortment of bracelets lining her wrists. The slightly odd way she
leaned back and examined you when you tried to make small talk. The brevity,
but the depth, of the conversation. Every single line. The ease you’ll never
again feel with anyone in the air, all because you hadn’t tried it before. But
for this cost, why not try it?
No, you can’t go back to that. Pick up your
ticket, find your way past security to the “final resting place” as the companies
have so ironically settled upon. 15 minutes until boarding? Time to check the
gift shop. Let’s see, book aisle. Bibles, Bhagavad Gitas, Book of Mormon, Scientology handbooks,
Buddhist doctrine… They must make a killing off the first timers. Your
favourite “Finding God in 5 minutes- Trust us, you’ll be motivated.” Not for
today, but maybe next time. This entire thing has made you rather disenchanted.
What drinks do they have? “Coke- Down to
your last refreshing sip” “Fanta- Taste the Breeze of the Tropics as the wind
rushes through your hair” or possibly the most straightforward one “4loco-
because you’re going to die anyways.” At least these advertising departments
aren’t attempting to sugar-coat the situation.
“FINAL BOARDING CALL, FINAL DESTINATION AIR
FLIGHT 10-54, NON-STOP SERVICE TO LOS ANGELES” Shoot. You’re late. Training has
convinced you never to run, as if you’re eager about this, so you meander over
to see the file marching solemnly into the plane.
You sit down in the mahogany-scented
leather chair this company has set you up with, next to the other 60 or so
passengers. You notice the young man from earlier significantly more at ease
than the first time you saw him. He must have hit up the airport bar in his
time. Can’t blame him. Enough to drive any man to drink, that. He has taken
advantage of the massage bath at his feet, and is falling deeper into a trance
of calm as the final checks are made before the door closes. You read whatever
the airline is offering for material as you tune out the familiar airline
safety speech.
“Blah blah blah…thank you for flying
Fina….blah blah blah…in case of an emergency, place your head between your
knees….blah blah blah…last chance to exit the plane now…blah blah blah…not
accountable for personal items wanted to be reclaimed after…blah blah blah.”
30 minutes
And then, off into the air for one more
time. Long flight, you feel like you’re almost cheating the system with just a
1:60 chance, but that was the deal struck up when the companies all went belly
up. Pull out a cigar, read over the financial reports for your meeting with the
west coast boss. Disturbance? Glance over the aisle at the younger man, who has
taken it upon himself to discover what every one of the 25 buttons equipped on
his tray table will pop up with.
15 minutes
Total amateur.
Is it worth it to slip into sleep? Maybe in
the old days like when Dad used to fly. New York to LA in 5 hours? Thank God
for advances in technology. What would you do without those extra 4 hours? You
escape from your fond reverie of a lost time to see that you’ve reached the
stratosphere. As close to the point as you’re going to get for cruising
altitude.
5 minutes
The flight attendants come over the
intercom again, this time urging people to start making calls if they’re having
a particularly unlucky day. This is where you start to see the religious folks
come out. Out with the St. Christopher medallions, the prayers, the good luck
totems, the incense, the crying.. you name it. Anything that helps. Young man
across the aisle- he must have found the in-flight liquor cabinet
3 minutes
People start strapping in. Either way,
you’re going to have to stay seated. You decide it’s about that time, so you
buckle in and start thinking about your acts of Karma over the last week. Was
it 75 or 50 cents that you gave to the homeless man? Hmmm
2 minutes
Flight attendants clear the bathrooms;
ensure everyone’s properly strapped in. Proceed to the front of the cabin
behind the air-seal
30 seconds
No turning back now, individual seats begin
the process of equalizing pressure. Close your eyes.
This is just the same as it has been the
last 30 times or so
5 seconds
Did you lock that car door? Because you
think you left that watch your family gave you for Christmas in the glove-
Time is up
The plane immediately dives left; you shoot
your gaze across and watch as the tiles underneath start retracting
immediately. Horror and realization come over his face. You make eye contact
with him for a fraction of a second, with the beginning of an H- forming on his
lips.
Then.
The young man and his seat have entirely vanished,
only to be replaced with a gaping hole in the floor. Slowly the tiles start
accumulating together into their previous shape with the familiar mechanical
whir, replacing any trace of anything that was there before.
Just.
Empty space.
Must be unlucky for that first time flyer.
But, that’s what you get for flying budget airlines for this cost.
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